I don’t have any New Years resolutions to make other than to get back on track with life again. I’ve fallen off the wagon with my food and fitness, and just staying on top of everything that needs to be done around the house the past couple of months. It could be a light bout of depression, knowing we were on the verge of possibly moving again, that threw me off. I just sort of stopped caring and spent more time crying…
It’s easy enough for Bill. He’ll take off for New York next week and begin his training for his new position. Not that he won’t miss us and our friends here, but I’m left with the brunt of the work preparing to move and getting the house sold, both on top of being a single mom for the next uncalculable however many months until we do get moved. It’s a lot of work and stress to take on, and though we’ve done this all before, it doesn’t get any easier facing this task once more. Add to that the fact of having to say goodbye to another group of friends digs me a little deeper into my pit.
It’s not that I’m not happy about the move. This is a great opportunity for Bill and I’m really proud of him, as always. And I am excited about heading to New England and being closer to Bill’s family. It’s just that it seems so far off, way at the end of another long, dark tunnel…that tiny glint of light, barely visible from where I’m sitting here today…The weight of the wait feels unbearable most days. I know we’ll get there–it’s just so hard doing it on my own.
Of course, I know wallowing in self-pity doesn’t help accomplish anything and I do much better to focus on other tasks at hand. Once we get through the holiday this weekend and Bill heads north and Michael goes back to school, I will set myself to pulling out my moving organizers, start purging what we don’t need to drag with us, and absorb my attention into doing what needs to be done-not just around the house, preparing to move, but also for myself, health and fitness wise. I know I feel a hundred times better when I make the effort to take better care of myself. Fitness is a great stress burner and heaven knows I’ll need all the help I can get in that department to get us through with our sanity in tact!
So list happy crazy freak that I am, I was ecstatic to find this printable on Ann Voskamp’s website, A Holy Experience, this morning: Daily planner printable Not only is it beautiful (all her printables are–remind me a lot of Marjolein Bastin’s style…) but it breaks down your day into the most pressing needs, household tasks, daily chores, a schedule to plan your morning, afternoon, and evening, a place to track your food, fitness, and water (viola!), room to plan for tomorrow, and most importantly, a space to list things you’ve been thankful for throughout the day.
So, just as Bill will be distracted with his new job and responsibilities, this new planner could help keep me busy and distracted from how far away that tiny light is at the end of my tunnel and keep me focused more on the here and now: what I need to do for me and my family, rather than wallowing in the thought of “will we ever get there…?”